By Olivia Fleming
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A mother who confessed to letting her four-year-old daughter wear 'a full face of make-up' has publicly defended herself after an online backlash from other parents.
Lindsay Cross wrote about her young daughter Brenna's interest in wearing make-up on the blog Mommyish, which prompted thousands of commenters to critique her parenting style.
Playing 'mummy': Defending herself, Lindsay Cross said her daughter's make-up is another way of having fun, 'it's dress-up and playing pretend. It's playing that she's older,' she said
The mother said she didn't anticipate the intense reaction from the online community, and defended herself by maintaining her daughter's make-up is just 'child's play'.
Reactions to Ms Cross's article ranged from parents who accused her of stealing her daughter's innocence, allowing the toddler to fall prey to society's notions of beauty at too young an age, to people who compared her parenting with the show Toddler's and Tiaras.
However one commenter wrote: 'Please don't help your daughters fall into the "pretty" trap so young.'
Another deemed the practice bad parenting: 'It is not cute. It is not funny. It is poor parenting.'
However Ms Cross upheld that Brenna's make-up 'is just a way for her to be like her mom'.
She said: 'I don't think that she puts two and two together, where you have to wear make-up so that you can present yourself to the world.'
Bonding ritual: Lindsay Cross wrote about her 4-year-old daughter Brenna's interest in wearing make-up, which prompted thousands of commenters to critique her parenting style
In her original article, Ms Cross wrote: 'Every holiday, performance, or any other event that she deems necessarily fancy, we pick out a pretty dress, curl her hair and then we apply a little make-up.
The mother continued: 'She sits in front of the mirror smiling as I apply a little blush to her cheeks and eye shadow to her eyes. Sometimes I don’t even put any actual make-up on, I just run the brushes over her skin. It doesn’t change the fun for her.'
Ms Cross said that she tells her daughter she doesn't have to wear make-up to be beautiful, but that she is allowed to 'because she feels the prettiest when she puts it on'.
Like mother like daughter: Ms Cross said that Brenna's make-up is a part of dress-up, and 'a way for her to be like her mom'
While she intends to have a more serious conversation regarding make-up when Brenna is older, for now Ms Cross wants her daughter to enjoy being a child.
Defending herself, she said: 'Now it's dress-up and playing pretend. It's playing that she's older.'
She added: 'And I think that as she gets to be a bit older, she'll look at it differently, and well talk about it differently.'
On Mommyish.com, Ms Cross chose to respond further, after her interview with ABC: 'I choose to try to keep makeup in the right sphere for us, something fun but not always necessary.
She explained: 'I try not to make a big deal out of something that I don’t want my daughter fixating on. And I hope that this will let her have a relaxed attitude about makeup and beauty products in the future.'
Since Ms Cross spoke out, defending her decision to let her daughter play with make-up, opinions shifted slightly.
One commenter wrote: 'My daughters are all grown up and have daughters of their own and my granddaughters (4 yrs old) play in make-up just as their mothers did. It is a bonding time and I enjoyed it!! Don’t let the public opinion take this special time away from you and your daughter!!'
Another commented: 'Not a big deal at all! I wear make-up and my girls 3 and 4 sometimes ask if they can have some gloss or some eyeshadow, and I too pretend to put blush on sometimes.'
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WoW.........where has individuality gone? This lady can do what she wants, the little girl is her daughter.
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Playing with makeup is putting on lip balm. It is not full war paint. If you want your daughter to be just like Mum how about teaching her bake or cook? Kids love to help in the kitchen especially if it something good like cookies. Or take her out in the garden and do some gardening or do something useful like picking up the litter on the street. Watch this space for the child to be enter in baby beauty contests. This sounds more like Mom likes this more than the daughter does. Eye makeup on a four year? Good grief!
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Didn't we all do this as kids?? Play in make up and beg your mom to put make up on you and maybe get a little eyeshadow or a dab of the blush brush? My 4 yr old is addicted to her "make up" but knows she is not allowed to wear it out of the house. She just likes to dress up and have fun doing different hairstyles and make up. I don't even wear makeup so she is not learning that she has to to be pretty, she just does it cause she loves to put it on!
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I don't know, I think this is blown out of proportion...it doesn't seem like the mother is trying to push false ideals of beauty on her daughter--rather, that she's allowing her daughter to play dress up and partake in her Mom's occasional makeup routine. I wear makeup often, and I allow my 3 year old daughter to have a swipe of cherry lip gloss. It's innocent and precious--and she will never be made to feel that she has to wear makeup to look beautiful. It's simply a fun thing to do with Mommy.
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Oh, people are so righteous! She says it's just part of dress up. When I was little, I put on my mum's heels and necklaces, but that didn't mean she was letting me go to elementary school in stilettos! Mums standing in front of the mirror pinching their love handles and complaining about their bodies does much more damage than letting her play adult, and that happens all the time. This is just imagination.
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The so-called "internet community" loves to get upset over the smallest thing. This woman sounds to me as if she has her daughter's activities and boundaries well under control. I can remember my sister walking around in my mother's high-heels as a child and it was the same thing, she was just playing grown-up...nothing more, nothing less.
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Oh, please: how many kids have played dress-up which usually included makeup, always poorly applied? We would overdo lipstick and anything else we could pilfer from an older sister or a mom. It is just play...
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When I was young, I used to watch my mother put on makeup too, but she never let me wear it. It is alright to say "no" sometimes.
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