Senin, 28 Mei 2012

Why it pays to have a smile for everyone

Why it pays to have a smile for everyone

  • Even a tiny amount of eye contact has huge impact
  • Being ignored makes people feel lonely
  • 'Ostracism is painful' says lead researcher
  • Problem is bad in cities - but worst in small towns

By Rob Waugh

PUBLISHED: 12:47 EST, 28 May 2012 | UPDATED: 20:19 EST, 28 May 2012

Giving a stranger a small smile or even just making eye contact as you pass can have a huge impact on their feelings, scientists have revealed

Giving a stranger a small smile or even just making eye contact as you pass can have a huge impact on their feelings, scientists have revealed

Giving a stranger a small smile or even just making eye contact as you pass can have a huge impact on their feelings, scientists have revealed.

Researchers conducted tests on hundreds of students to find out how tiny gestures affected people - and found even the smallest amount of eye contact made them feel connected to others.

'Ostracism is painful,' said lead researcher Eric Wesselmann, a social psychologist at Purdue University in Indiana. 'It's not a pleasant experience. '

The team hope it could now help explain why people often feel lonely in large cities where people rarely make eye contact.

They say that the problem is worst in small towns.

'Lack of acknowledgment may be more painful in some locations (e.g., small towns) and may be normative and preferred in other locations (e.g., large cities),' the researchers wrote.

Researchers also believe that feelings of loneliness can have physical effects on people.

Previous research has linked loneliness to a weakened immune system and a hardening of the arteries, while other studies have found when a person is excluded, even in a computer game, they feel worse about themselves and can be plunged into a bad mood.

The latest research, presented at the annual meeting of the Society for the Study of Motivation, was designed to find exactly what triggers the ‘connected’ feelings.

‘Some of my coauthors have found, for example, that people have reported that they felt bothered sometimes even when a stranger hasn’t acknowledged them,' said Wesselman.

The study was carried out with the cooperation of 239 people on campus at Purdue University.

A research assistant walked along a well-populated path, picked a subject, and either met that person’s eyes, met their eyes and smiled, or looked in the direction of the person’s eyes, but past them - ‘looking at them as if they were air,’ Wesselmann says.

When the assistant had passed the person, he or she gave a thumbs-up behind the back to indicate that another experimenter should stop that person. The second experimenter asked, ‘Within the last minute, how disconnected do you feel from others?’

People who had received eye contact from the research assistant, with or without a smile, felt less disconnected than people who had been looked at as if they weren’t there.

‘These are people that you don’t know, just walking by you, but them looking at you or giving you the air gazeâ€"looking through youâ€"seemed to have at least momentary effect,’ Wesselmann said.

‘What we find so interesting about this is that now we can further speak to the power of human social connection,’ Wesselmann says. ‘It seems to be a very strong phenomenon.’

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If you live in a small community or town then of course people are more friendly. In big cities such as London you can't keep smiling or making eye contact with people you pass on the street because there are far too many of them, plus some of them would think you're bonkers.

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YOU LOOKING AT ME? Thump.

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I'm recovering from a train phobia. Recently, I was at a station, there was no-one else on the platform and I was miles away, in my own world trying to calm myself down. I must've looked a right state when the train pulled up...I had my hand on my chest (as if to try stop my heart from bursting out!) and took a few deep breaths staring at the doors before forcing myself on the train. When I got on the train and forced myself to go in a carriage, there was a young girl there. She had obviously seen my distress and flashed over a warm, reassuring smile. It was so nice and really just what I needed right then: a friendly face. I could see she kept her eye on me throughout the journey by quick glances and when I departed she gave me another smile, this time wider - I like to think she was saying, 'well done'. I'll always be grateful for people like this young lady.

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It never ceases to amaze me how few people give eye contact. I reckon you could stroll naked down most shopping centres and no-one would bat an eyelid. I regularly see people doing the side to side two step because neither person looks at the other when they walk into each others space. Sad :(

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- Sheila, South Oz, 28/5/2012 22:55 walks on a beach most mornings - sometimes I am the only person there. I always say "Gidday"........... Well Sheila! one of those days they're going to come and take you away....

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I walk on a beach most mornings - sometimes I am the only person there. i always say "Gidday" to anyone I do meet. However, you DO get the occasional person who simply WILL NOT make eye contact which I find hilarious seeing as you are the only two people for about a kilometer!!! I always give them a hearty hello and MAKE them speak to me. Life is too short to ignore your fellow passengers! I found in UK that people in smaller towns tend to speak and smile, but not so much in big cities - is this because they sense they might get mugged?

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It's nice to be important but important to be nice.

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I live in a town in Bedfordshire and everyone smiles at everyone else and says 'hello'. It's actually really odd if someone doesn't do it! Miserable people, doesn't take a second to look up and smile!

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I suggest not to smile at people in cities in the Netherlands as you might just get a fist in your face and in the best case people will stare at you like "what does that person wants from me?". That being said, you can make easily contact in smaller places in the Netherlands without having to fear for trouble.

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I usually try to make a little bit of eye contact and smile at people in a city centre. Many appreciate it and smile back which is lovely. The ones that don't I just mutter 'Ohh well .. ffffff off then' under my breath.

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