By Max Davidson
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My taxi deposits me on the quayside at Henderson, Kentucky â" and I canât suppress an exclamation of pure pleasure, albeit not a particularly enlightened one: âWow!â
Moored to the quay, with the Stars and Stripes fluttering from her mast-poles, is my accommodation for the next three nights: the beautiful American Queen, paddle-steamer de luxe, biggest and grandest of the riverboats plying the great waterways of the central U.S.
Everything about this lady oozes class, from the bright red paddle-wheel, glistening in the sun, to the wrought iron verandas, over which the passengers loll, savouring the scene below.

Ring my belle: The American Queen was built in 1995 but harks back to a former time
It is like a throwback to the great days of paddle-steaming in the 19th century, when whole towns would turn out to greet these most stylish of passenger boats, as they chugged along the Mississippi and Ohio rivers.
But a few years ago, it looked as if the double-whammy of 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina had put paid to luxury paddle-steaming for good.
The American Queen, built in 1995, had to be laid up in port for four years. But now she is back, ritzier than ever and the queen of steamers relaunched amid much hoopla by Priscilla Presley.
With six decks and accommodation for more than 400 passengers, this is the largest vessel of her kind ever built.
As you walk up the gangplank and pass through the wood-panelled Mark Twain Gallery, it is like entering a retro boutique hotel; a cosy world of mahogany tables, leather armchairs and art deco lampshades.

Port of call: Paducah, Kentucky, is a good place for antiquing and soaking up the historic charm
There is an old black-and-white photograph of Twain on the wall and quotations from the great man dotted around the ship. The creator of Tom Sawyer and Huckleberry Finn â" books that I devoured as a boy â" once worked as a pilot on a Mississippi steamboat.
It was his passion for the river that did more than anything to popularise paddle-steaming as a leisure activity.
Like canal boats in this country, steamboats were briefly vital to the economic infrastructure of America, before being supplanted by the railways.
In their 19th-century heyday, there were thousands of them and, if history is your bag, there is no better way to while away your time on the American Queen than to chat to the shipâs quaintly named âriverlorianâ, the resident steamboat expert.
Get him spinning yarns about the good old days and you will be transported back into a vanished world, part of American folklore. Other on-board attractions include live performances in an au ditorium modelled on the theatre in Washington where Abraham Lincoln was shot.
Make them laugh: The auditorium is modelled on the theatre where Abraham Lincoln was shot
Shameless nostalgia is the order of the day, with Elvis impersonators, Dixieland jazz and bands from the Sixties.
The cabins are comfortable, but modestly sized, true to their period. But the high-ceilinged dining room is magnificent. Scoffing oysters Rockefeller or a perfectly cooked Texas steak as you glide through the heart of America is an experience to savour.
âThis beats the Thames at Pangbourne,â jokes one of the few English passengers, looking out across the vast expanse of water. And he is not wrong.
My three-night journey takes me more than 300 miles, first on the Ohio, then on the Mississippi, and the river is rarely less than a mile wide. It is like travelling on a watery conveyor belt through the heart of America.
At times, the river is a wilderness, with no habitation for miles around. Waves lap against sandbanks backed by dense woodland.
Palatial proportions: The dining room and parlour have a certain regal quality about them
Swallows swoop overhead. There is a deep primordial silence. Then a foghorn sounds in the distance and we pass a container boat, the first of many, pushing a dozen barges gingerly upstream.
If the rivers are still important commercial arteries, ferrying goods across the country, they also link quirky little towns â" their whole history shaped by the river â" which you would miss if you were driving around America in a hire car.
At Paducah, Kentucky, where memories of the Great Flood of 1937 are still fresh, there is a fascinating quilting museum as well as a clutch of antique shops.
Itâs a sleepy little community, but seems thoroughly at ease with itself. Middle-aged bikers muster outside a cafe, their jackets gilded by the sun. A cat slinks down a cobbled street, heading for restaurant dustbins.

Bright lights: Memphis, Tennessee is the home of jazz and wild nights
At New Madrid, Missouri, I chat to an old lady who remembers her grandmother telling stories about the Civil War, when Union troops seized the town.
Time passes slowly beside a river, which explains its charm. On the river bank, a small boy stares up at the American Queen, clutching his motherâs hand.
He looks enchanted, the way Mark Twain was enchanted as a boy, and the way I still feel, even though I will never see 50 again.
When I diembark in Memphis, Tennessee, I feel a pang of real regret, as if saying goodbye to a wise old friend.
Who better to sum up the charm of a Mississippi river cruise than Mark Twain himself? âThe face of the water, in time, became a wonderful book...and it was not a book to be read once and thrown aside, for it had a new story to tell every day.â
Travel Facts
Seven nights full board on the American Queen start at £1,255 pp, exclusive of flights; four nights from £626 (www.greatamericansteamboatcompany.com) United Airlines (www.united.com) flies from Heathrow to Memphis, Tennessee, via Newark from £637 return.
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