Selasa, 12 Juni 2012

Beware the dinner party guest! One in 10 admit to snooping around their host's home

Beware the dinner party guest! One in 10 admit to snooping around their host's home

  • 28 per cent regularly turn up without a gift
  • 17 per cent swear at the table

  • 'It is truly dreadful,' says etiquette expert Gill Harbord

By Sadie Whitelocks

PUBLISHED: 06:10 EST, 12 June 2012 | UPDATED: 17:43 EST, 12 June 2012

While you're busy in the kitchen slaving away over a hot stove do you ever wonder what your dinner party guests are doing in the room next door?

Well according to new research they could be busy sifting through your worldly possessions in a bid to find something they were never meant to see.

One in ten of those surveyed admitted to snooping through personal goods belonging to a friend while waiting for food to be served.

A scene from the British TV show Come Dine With Me - a contest to see who can throw the best dinner party

A scene from the British TV show Come Dine With Me - a contest to see who can throw the best dinner party

Experts now believe that British etiquette is in danger of a becoming lost art as poking around uninvited wasn't the only offense committed.

More than a quarter (28 per cent) said they regularly turned up at friend's house without a gift, 17 per cent took to swearing in front of their host and 13 per cent lit cigarettes, despite not smoking in their own homes.

Just 15 per cent of men admit they offer to wash the dishes when visiting a friend or family member, while over a quarter of women (27 per cent) were more than happy to help out where they could.

As a result of poor behaviour, seven per cent of hosts revealed that they had fallen out with friends.

DINNER PARTY GUIDELINES

If you have been invited to a dinner party make sure you RSVP promptly (mentioning any dietary requirements you may have). If you can't make it you'll be giving the host plenty of time to find someone else. If you have to cancel, give as much notice as possible.

Never arrive early to a dinner party. A few minutes after the time stated on the invitation is polite; if you are going to be more than 15 minutes late phone ahead and warn your host.

It is polite to take a gift; chocolates, flowers, or a bottle of wine are all good choices. Take a couple of bottles if there are two of you. Always write a thank you note as soon as possible after the event; phone call is also fine for casual evenings. A reciprocal invitation should follow where appropriate.

SOURCE: www.debretts.com

Gill Harbord, etiquette expert and Ladette to Ladies headmistress, said: 'The idea that guests set out to go on a self-guided tour of their guest’s home is just awful behaviour.

'If guests want to see the house they should always ask their host first and never engage in an uninvited snoop.

'It is truly dreadful that a quarter of British people have turned up to a dinner party without a gift and it shows a clear lack of manners in today’s society.

'Guests should remember that they do not need to spend a fortune but should always bring along a small token to show appreciation to their host'.

But guests are still making demands of their hosts - almost a third (31 per cent) said they expect hosts to hang up their coat when they arrive and three quarters (76 per cent) would find it rude if they were not asked if they wanted a drink or a bite to eat.

Jacky Brown, at Sheilas’ Wheels insurance which commissioned the survey, added: 'It is clear from the research that old fashioned British etiquette is in danger of becoming extinct.

'As a nation we are well known for taking care of our castles so we would advise that hosts plan ahead and make sure they put away expensive and fragile items to prevent any accidental mishaps from happening.'

Here's what other readers have said. Why not add your thoughts, or debate this issue live on our message boards.

The comments below have not been moderated.

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Those who snoop around the host's home are not true friends and do not consider the hosts to be true friends.

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Best story I ever heard about nosy guests: One member of a group of friends was known for going through their host's medicine cabinets whenever their was a party. Their friends got fed up, and decided to teach them a lesson. They arranged a party, and made sure that person would definitely be there. On the day of the party, they emptied the medicine cabinet, held up a piece of cardboard long enough to cover the entire medicine cabinet except for a slot at the top, filled it to the top with hundreds of metal ball bearings, closed the medicine cabinet door, and slid the cardboard out, leaving the medicine cabinet full of ball bearings. When the "guest of honor" opened the medicine cabinet, as the hosts and their friends knew they would - all the ball bearings came pouring out with an immensely loud CRASH! and they exited the bathroom with a very red face, made even more red by the sight of all their friends standing there laughing LOLOL

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i have to say, I do love a nice tour of someone´s house or flat. Purely as I love seeing the room and decor - seeing someone´s tastes and how they differ7are similar to your own is always intriguing. I wouldn´t however invite myself on a tour and certainly wouldn´t dream of going through drawers or cupboards. Some of my closests friends have only been in my bedroom once or twice (and I´m only in my early twenties so not a frump).

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Theres a bit of a gap between the curious, and someone you trust rifling through your drawers, while your downstairs chatting to his wife.

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you people are nutso.....freaking Euro's.

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None of my friends would ever consider snooping around in my house If I had an inkling they were then they wouldn't be friends for very long. I have NEVER snooped in anyone's house even If they have gone out I am left alone. It's disgusting a breach of friendship.

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A guest of mine decided to steal an expensive camera once, when I was out of the room for a while. Fortunately, one of the other guests saw him and tore him off a strip. Needless to say, that so-and-so was never invited again. In fact, I don't have any problem asking people to leave if their behaviour (or that of their kids) is upsetting others. As for gifts, it's a nice thought, but I don't really expect it. We usually arrange for someone to bring a bowl of something if they want to contribute -that's the best gift you can bring, but I suspect some are too snobby to even think of that.

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Dinner parties - how very middle claars dahling! I prefer egg and chips on my lap in front of the tv, with a nice bottle of mind expanding Chianti and a DM to thumb through when the adverts are on.

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A friend of my husband had a nauseating habit of going through his jacket and coat pockets when visiting, hoping to do it out of sight !. This was until my Husband twigged it, and on his next visit slid a ''SET'' mouse trap in one of his pockets ---- result --- A big OUCH, A RED FACE , and a very SORE FINGER !!! , needless to say '' he never done it again ''

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My (vile) step-mother-in-law took it upon herself to poke around my intimates in my bedroom as I was cooking. When I discovered her in there, she didn't even have the grace to look embarrassed. But then that was the least of her horrid behaviour that night!

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